Guess what, those little ones have feelings just like adults, but haven't figured out how to sort them out, and then what to do with them. So your child is playing and suddenly is screaming or crying it could be a couple different things. First, does your child look frustrated? Or just screaming to hear themselves. If frustrated offer assistance by saying, I see you're getting frustrated (name of child), can I help you? All in a very calm voice. As adults we never want to go to the child's level in loudness. So take a few breaths and approach your child in a quiet voice. If they scream back at you "NO" then say okay, and back away for a few minutes.
If your child is still screaming, ask him/her if you could hold them with their blanket or something that is special to them. Still you are showing concern by using a calm voice. If the child throws the toy in frustration than tell your child, I see that you are upset with this toy. Should we put it away for a while and play with something else. Give a suggestion. If this doesn't work than let him/her know that it's not okay to throw toys and that when he/she is ready they can pick them up. No matter what is happening if your child throws toys it is his/her responsibility to pick them up. You can help, but the child needs to help as well. The child may do this on his/her own, or you may have to physically put the toy in his/her hand and place it in the bucket hand over hand with each piece or until he/she just does it on their own.
Another reason may be due to the fact they like hearing their voice go loud and they like your reaction when it happens. So if you are upset your child is screaming and he/she knows that, it might very well be the way to get your attention and reaction. So what do we do with kids using you for that kind of entertainment. We simply ask them to STOP because it hurts our ears. IF that doesn't work and probably won't. Ask them why they are screaming? You might get a response, but if you don't then let them know that it's not acceptable behavior, and remind them that they have lots of good words to use to express themselves. Also remind them that in the home we have a rule about using our talking voices. We can have a time where we can just scream if it's something you would like to incorporate outdoors.
Now if it continues, they need a time out. This is where they will sit in a special spot. I recommend an area on each level with a few books, special stuffed animals and a pillow or blanket they like. This is where they need to go to calm down. Remember they should only be in time out for as old as they are. If screaming continues. They are in a temper tantrum and that is not acceptable. You need to walk away and ignore the behavior. Let the child know you will be over here when he/she is ready to talk to you in a kind voice. Temper Tantrums are a child's way of having a power struggle with you. Once you give into it. You will see the behavior happen more and more frequently.
Later when everyone has moved onto something else, and you're having some quiet time. Go over feelings with your child and talk about them. When I feel angry I want to throw something or hit something, but I STOP, TAKE BREATHS, AND FIND MY CALMING PLACE. Then I go to the person and say. It made me mad when you took that toy, or when you helped me. I wanted to do it myself. If someone hit you, then you really hurt my body and that made me sad or mad. It's important for children to see how you handle feelings. They are trying to learn through you and figure out their boundaries in their environments.
If your child is still screaming, ask him/her if you could hold them with their blanket or something that is special to them. Still you are showing concern by using a calm voice. If the child throws the toy in frustration than tell your child, I see that you are upset with this toy. Should we put it away for a while and play with something else. Give a suggestion. If this doesn't work than let him/her know that it's not okay to throw toys and that when he/she is ready they can pick them up. No matter what is happening if your child throws toys it is his/her responsibility to pick them up. You can help, but the child needs to help as well. The child may do this on his/her own, or you may have to physically put the toy in his/her hand and place it in the bucket hand over hand with each piece or until he/she just does it on their own.
Another reason may be due to the fact they like hearing their voice go loud and they like your reaction when it happens. So if you are upset your child is screaming and he/she knows that, it might very well be the way to get your attention and reaction. So what do we do with kids using you for that kind of entertainment. We simply ask them to STOP because it hurts our ears. IF that doesn't work and probably won't. Ask them why they are screaming? You might get a response, but if you don't then let them know that it's not acceptable behavior, and remind them that they have lots of good words to use to express themselves. Also remind them that in the home we have a rule about using our talking voices. We can have a time where we can just scream if it's something you would like to incorporate outdoors.
Now if it continues, they need a time out. This is where they will sit in a special spot. I recommend an area on each level with a few books, special stuffed animals and a pillow or blanket they like. This is where they need to go to calm down. Remember they should only be in time out for as old as they are. If screaming continues. They are in a temper tantrum and that is not acceptable. You need to walk away and ignore the behavior. Let the child know you will be over here when he/she is ready to talk to you in a kind voice. Temper Tantrums are a child's way of having a power struggle with you. Once you give into it. You will see the behavior happen more and more frequently.
Later when everyone has moved onto something else, and you're having some quiet time. Go over feelings with your child and talk about them. When I feel angry I want to throw something or hit something, but I STOP, TAKE BREATHS, AND FIND MY CALMING PLACE. Then I go to the person and say. It made me mad when you took that toy, or when you helped me. I wanted to do it myself. If someone hit you, then you really hurt my body and that made me sad or mad. It's important for children to see how you handle feelings. They are trying to learn through you and figure out their boundaries in their environments.
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